Stephen and I... our upbringing is completely different -- his life is completely surrounded (and controlled by, in a sense) religion, while I'm over here praying to Buddha a couple days before college results come out (no idea why I do that since I'm Atheist, but yea). Yet, I find how he would routinely come by whore street to smell "their soft perfumed flesh" and bang on accident to be cute, and even relatable. Don't get me wrong -- there isn't a "whore street" in Champaign county anyways -- I don't find prostitution by any means cute, but how he would try to convince himself that he's doing that by accident. He literally goes out of his way to make it look like he's just wandering, running around in circles, when there's a clear destination in mind. I mean his heart is even pumping as he's "wandering".
I say this is relatable because it reminds me of my childhood prominently in two ways. I remember how my brother and I would walk around the kitchen and wait for our parents to watch TV, and then sneak into the cabinets to begin our assault on whatever dried goods we have. I mean, I still do that now -- after we moved, we ended up getting a pantry. You'd think this'll make it any easier... how all the food is in one place... but thing is, it's really squeaky; I tried oiling it up but it didn't really help that much. I'd open it, and my mom would be like "Anthony what are you eating" and I'd have to make some dumb excuse like "ummm I'm prepping for lunch tomorrow" (this is done since I literally prep right after dinner... I mean I usually raid the pantry at around 11pm so yea).
The second thing is also from my childhood. My parents wouldn't let me use chef knives back then (I mean well duh), and they'd always say that I'd accidentally cut off my fingers. I'd wait for them to fall asleep, and then approach the knives. I'd remember that I'd accidentally cut off my fingers though, and pull back. I'd end up wandering around, just like Stephen, and literally say out loud "Oo what's this I've never seen this before" and then I'd pick it up and chop whatever was around (usually onions I think). I wasn't smitten, so this became a routine... eventually my parents were like "yea you can use it" and I'd just start chopping and they'd be like "wait did you learn how to do that just now?" *incoming lame coverup*
Unlike Stephen though, I don't really need to confess all of that... I'm glad I picked up a santoku when I was 9 (though I'd argue chef knives with a bolster are better). That scene where Stephen is confessing all of that stuff to the priest... oo that was so cringing. Everything was fine at first -- "what do you need to confess?" "I missed church, didn't say all of my prayers, I lied, got mad, got jealous, ate too much, didn't listen to elders, etc." and the priest was like "mhm that's fine pretty standard stuff. Is that all?"
"I... committed sins of impurity, father." (pg. 156)
ooo ouch... I felt that one... Joyce did a great job to make his readers feel the same way as his characters felt. I literally had knots in my stomach reading this part of the book. Aaaand then the priest did a facepalm. Ouch... Stephen's cry of appreciation for God (I guess you can call that? This is when the priest told Stephen that God will forgive him if he gave up on his sin, and how his heart felt pure again) was also very moving -- even though it's not really relatable for me.
I like how you compared and contrasted your and Daedalus's childhoods, and differing approaches for dealing with guilt. I think its really cool how the book calls to mind different memories for each reader.
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting how you contrasted your childhood/ coming of age experience with that of Stephen's. I think it does a good job of showing how everyone's coming of age experience is different. No two people are going to grow up as a result of the same experiences. However, your comparisons helped show that there are similar moments or realizations that occur in everyone's childhood.
ReplyDeleteComparing your childhood and Stephen's childhood is definitely very interesting. It's hard to understand how old Stephen is so comparing it to yourself might make it a little bit easier to understand where Stephen is at that point in his life. Stephen is definitely a very interesting and different person too, so comparing yourself to Stephen might clarify (or even make it harder to understand) why Stephen did certain things.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think that concept of denying something that you're doing while you're spiraling into it is a really relatable one. However, like you said, Stephen is definitely on a level that we aren't really used to (with all the "whore banging"). However, I still think you make a really good point: even though he's in a different context and doing very different stuff, there's this sense of punishment and guilt we have when we're young (his from church and yours from your parents) that shapes the way we approach the "bad" stuff we wanna do. Awesome post, really interesting connection!!
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